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Transcribed from the 1924 Norwich edition, Vol. 16, Miscellanies,by David Price, email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk

THE TURKISH JESTER;
OR,
THE PLEASANTRIES
OF
COGIA NASR EDDIN EFENDI.

TRANSLATED FROM THE TURKISH
BY
GEORGE BORROW.

IPSWICH:
W. WEBBER, DIAL LANE,
1884. p. 253

THE PLEASANTRIES OF COGIA NASR EDDIN EFENDI

‘A breeze, which pleasant stories bears,
Relicks of long departed years.’

The story goes, one of the stories of a hundred, that Cogia NasrEddin Efendi one day ascending into the pulpit to preach, said, ‘Obelievers, do ye not know what I am going to say to you?’ The congregation answered, ‘Dear Cogia Efendi, we do not know.’ Then said the Cogia, ‘What shall I say to you until you do know?’ One day the Cogia ascending again into the pulpit, said, ‘O Mussulmen,do ye not know what I am going to say to you?’  ‘Wedo know,’ they replied.  Then said the Cogia, ‘Someof ye do know already, what should I have to say to you?’ Then descending from the chair he went out.  The assembly separatedquite astonished, and, when they were out, continued to say, ‘Whichare those of us who know?  Which are those who do not know?’ The Cogia one day again mounting the chair in the same manner, said,‘O brothers, when I said to ye, “Do you know what I shallsay?” there were some who said, “We know,” otherssaid, “We do not.”  It were now well that those amongye who knew what the Cogia said should teach those that did not.’p. 254

One day Cogia Nasr Eddin Efendi said, ‘O Mussulmen, give thanksto God Most High that He did not give the camel wings; for, had He giventhem, they would have perched upon your houses and chimneys, and havecaused them to tumble upon your heads.’

One day Cogia Nasr Eddin Efendi having mounted the chair in a city,said, ‘O Mussulmen, the air above this city is just like the airabove my city.’  The congregation said, ‘O Cogia Efendi,how do you know that?’  Said the Cogia, ‘Because Ihave seen as many stars above this city as I saw above Belgrade.’

One night the Cogia dreamt that he was given nine aspres, whereuponthe Cogia said, ‘O now pray make them up ten’; afterwardshe said, ‘Make them up eleven,’ and then presently, a disputehaving arisen, he awoke and saw that in his hand he had nothing, thereuponclosing his eyes anew and stretching out his hands, he said, ‘Well,well, I shall be content with nine aspres.’

One day the Cogia went out into the plain, and as he was going alonghe suddenly saw some men on horseback coming towards him.  CogiaEfendi, in a great hurry, set off towards a cemetery, and having reachedit took off his clothes, and entering into a tomb lay down.  Thehorsemen, on seeing the Cogia run away, followed him to the place wherehe lay, and said, ‘O fellow, p. 255whydo you lie here?’  Cogia Efendi, finding nothing else tosay, replied, ‘I am one of the buried people, but came here towalk.’

Cogia Efendi one day went into a garden, pulled up some carrots andturnips and other kinds of vegetables, which he found, putting someinto a sack and some into his bosom; suddenly the gardener coming up,laid hold of him, and said, ‘What are you seeking here?’ The Cogia, being in great consternation, not finding any other reply,answered, ‘For some days past a great wind has been blowing, andthat wind blew me hither.’  ‘But who pulled up thesevegetables?’ said the gardener.  ‘As the wind blewvery violently,’ replied the Cogia, ‘it cast me here andthere, and whatever I laid hold of in the hope of saving myself remainedin my hands.’  ‘Ah,’ said the gardener, ‘butwho filled the sack with them?’  ‘Well,’ saidthe Cogia, ‘that is the very question I was about to ask myselfwhen you came up.’

One day Cogia Efendi, on whom God be merciful, went to the city ofConia, and going into a pastry-cook’s shop, seized hold of a tart,and saying, ‘In the Name of God,’ began to eat it. The pastry-cook cried out, ‘Halloa, fellow, what are you about?’and fell to beating him.  The Cogia said, ‘Oh what a finecountry is this of Conia, in which, whilst a man eats a tart, they putin a blow as a digester for every morsel.’ p. 256

Cogia Nasr Eddin, at the time of the Holy Ramadan, thought to himself,‘What must I do in order to hold the fast in conformity with thepeople?  I must prepare an earthen pot, and every day put a stoneinto it, and when thirty days are completed I may hold my Beiram.’ So he commenced placing stones in the pot, one every day.  Nowit happened one day that a daughter of the Cogia cast a handful of stonesinto the pot, and a little time after some people asked the Cogia, ‘Whatday of the month is it to-day?’  Now it happened to be thetwenty-fifth.  The Cogia, however, said to them, ‘Have patienceand I will see’; and going to his house and emptying the pot,perceived that there were a hundred and twenty stones in it.  Says