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[Transcriber's note: Irregularities in punctuation which werepresent in the original have been corrected. Variants such aswould'nt/wouldn't, could'nt/couldn't, was'nt/wasn't, have beenretained.]

A

CHRISTMAS STORY,

BY

DR. SAMUEL W. FRANCIS.

PUBLISHED BY
GEORGE H. MATHEWS,
929 BROADWAY, NEW YORK.,
1867.

[Pg 1]

A CHRISTMAS STORY.

MAN IN HIS ELEMENT:

OR,

A NEW WAY TO KEEP HOUSE.

BY DR. SAMUEL W. FRANCIS.

CONTENTS

PART I.         A WOMAN'S PLAN.

PART II.         A MAN'S PLAN.

PART I.

A WOMAN'S PLAN.

'My dear Mary,' said I, one morning, to my widowed sister, as she sankinto an arm chair in front of my library fire, and heaved a sigh repletewith exhaustion and sadness:

'What is the matter?'

'Enough for a woman, William, but of course, nothing for an old bachelorlike you, who have only to pay your own bills, eat your meals withoutthe trouble of ordering them; lounge through a clean house with nochasing after servants to sweep and wash and dust; sit in your study,heaping log after log on your devoted andirons, and always meeting mewith such a provoking cheerfulness, while I have not a moment to myself;am all the time running to give out stores to one girl; soap and starchto another; candles and linen to the chambermaid, and orders to thecoachman; and, even then, I have no peace; for, no sooner do I sit inthe nursery, hoping to derive a few minutes comfort from a quiet sew,than my ears are filled with the dissatisfaction of one girl; thecomplaints of another; the threatenings to leave of another, and thequarrels of all. I declare, William, I think it was too bad in you toinsist on our leaving that comfortable boarding house, where we lived somuch cheaper, and had no trouble. It was there, with my small family,that I appreciated the freedom from care that you old selfish,unsympathizing bachelors enjoy; and no wonder you laugh at us. The factis, you don't know anything about it; you ——'

'My dear Mary,' I repeated, 'you have said enough—I only ask for a fewminutes to put this matter in a new light, and, in time, you yourselfwill be convinced.'

'That's all very well, William, but what's the use of talking to youmen. I never convinced one in my life. No sir! man is an animal thatnever acknowledges either that he is wrong, or that a woman is right. Itell you, servants are the bane of my existence. You cannot make themhappy, do what you may. Why, only the other day I gave Jane a nice pairof gaiters that I had but partially worn out. She thanked me, and I felt